I am a big fan of apps, so when I heard there was an app for ovulation testing I was all over it.
While trying to conceive, I want as much information as possible -- I want so much data about my body that I feel that I am an expert. I want line graphs, pie charts, pivot tables, timelines, scatter maps -- everything. I want checkboxes, dropdowns, and slide buttons to input my info. Basically, I need something to obsess over for 3 minutes while I wait to read my result.
As the seconds pass, I use the Premom app to look at my ovulation cycle in different forms and look at my average cycle insights. I add in my symptoms, my mood, my BBT, the size of my bowel movements, which nose is running today, what my pee smells like, how I stood up too fast and got dizzy, that there is a HUGE pimple under my armpit ... and other critical information that will obviously mean I am going to ovulate soon or that I am pregnant.
But my favorite feature is the camera for the LH strips. Rather than do my usual sit and squint, I can snap a picture of my test and the app will let me know how low or high I am and when I hit my peak. And even better, it stores every picture and lines them up so you can see the progression. This is starting to sound like a sales pitch... my bad.
Anyways, I take tests through the whole cycle with maybe an average of 2 tests a day. Also, I never believe the first picture, I don't even trust the second. I probably take 6 snapshots and then keep the one that looks the most accurate (because I have decided that the app I trust more than my eyes is no longer better than my eyes because... because... because I am crazy).
After taking so many pictures, I started treating it like a photo shoot. I would rotate the camera and get a landscape pic - hey, maybe it will get a better result. Maybe instead of having the app take an automatic picture this time, I'll go for a manual shot.
A couple of minutes later I start talking to the pee strip, pretending like I am a photographer.
"Yes, darling. Perfect, don't move. Give me attitude, give me fierceness. Color, GIVE ME MORE COLOR."
After I choose the best picture to keep, I walk away and go about my day as if I am a completely normal, sane and functional adult. Well... until it's time for strip number 2.
*Image from Freepik