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  • Writer's pictureAnxious Kat

Testing and digging through the trash

Updated: Mar 24, 2021

One common thought shared by most women trying to conceive is that maybe, just this once, YOU will be the one to get a positive pregnancy test at 5dpo (5 days past ovulation). You google "Is it too early to test at 5dpo?" and the answer in the article is inevitably going to tell you that you are crazy to think you will see that line pop up on that strip. They tell you to wait.

This is where your search should end, but NO! You continue to scroll, you scroll further than anyone has ever scrolled. You just hit Page 15 on Google, the desert of the internet. And, yes, on the horizon, you see it! It's an article that says "very few women get a positive result at 5 DPO." Did you read that!?! VERY FEW WOMEN! So, there is a chance?!?

You roll open the drawer, grab your tests, and lay them evenly on the bathroom sink like a row of No. 2 pencils. You grab your little cup (or in my case, one time, a red solo cup -- but more on that in the future) and assume the position. Unsurprisingly, a big fat negative. You throw it in the trash, give a sigh of disappointment, and leave the bathroom. But... what if you read it wrong?

So, there you are on your hands and knees, digging through the trash like a raccoon. In some cases, you try to break open that plastic case like an otter breaks a clam open with a rock on its belly. And, in a final effort to make sure you aren't blind, you hold the strip up to the light as if looking for a treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence.

Thanks to this thread, I found my tribe. I could tell you not to test at 5dpo, but the first 14 pages of Google can tell you that. To my fellow trash pandas, otters, and Nicolas Cage -- you are not alone.

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